Alexander John Shave, R.I.P.

My Dear Son Alex Moved on Forever on the 25th of January 2002

"He Went His Own Way"
I do miss him often, so very, very much…

Click eMail Don to share your thoughts? Thanks…

Alex's funeral was held at the 1st Congregational United Church of Christ on Friday, February 1st with many, many friends & family at the viewing, and then joining the service to help and support us.

You may listen to the message I shared at the service, Dad's Farewell (2.5MB.mp3) *; you can also download & read the text of the message here, which has the complete versions of the poetic threads woven in & out of the message. Also click Amber, Carrie, Angie & Glen (3.5MB.mp3) * to listen to the personal messages shared by Alex's friends at the funeral.



I asked that everyone "remember Alex in their minds" by saving their funeral memorial cards… Alex's Funeral Memorial

Mary Frye's poem is on the reverse…

 

 

 

 

  

  

Alex's Funeral Memorial

 

 

  

  

  

Do Not Stand by my Grave and Weep.
I am not There, I do not Sleep.

I am a Thousand Winds that Blow,
I am a Diamond Glint on the Snow.
I am the Sunlight on Ripened Grain,
I am the Gentle Autumn Rain.

When you Awaken in the Morning's Hush,
I am the Swift Uplifting Rush
of Quiet Birds in Circled Flight.
I am the Soft Stars that Shine at Night.

Do Not Stand by my Grave and Cry.
I am not There, I did not Die.

We chose this because it captures Alex’s free spirit. We think that Alex would want you to remember him this way, and not be sad as he went his own way.

Alex's final destination is shared by his mother & I with memorials at the LaBelle Cemetary in Oconomowoc, WI,
and (spiritually) at Ship Rock in New Mexico, a place known as "The Rock with Wings" to the Navajo People, "Tsé Bit'a'i' "

May His Spirit
Rest In Peace For Ever

Some of my Thoughts & Memories of Alex

This is the Alex that we all knew, looking really, really good in '97… Alex, captured in 1997

  

  

"When this you see, remember me
and keep me in your mind.
Let others say just what they may,
Speak of me as you find."

Another Memorial from me for Alex is the haunting song that was played, Tangerine (1.3MB.mp3) * Here are the lyrics, also

I captured these thoughts during the weekend after Alex died…

"These are the saddest and longest days of my life. Memories abound. Alex's childhood in & around Oconomowoc was filled with friends and places to play, to learn about life. We lived in Sterling Park, VA when Alex was a baby and in Germantown, MD until Alex was almost 5. We enjoyed many family trips and vacations every year, away to the beach, off to the zoo, camping, fishing, time in woodsy cabins, even off to Europe for a few weeks. Wonderful years together in our family. Alex's teenage years became filled with many complicated issues as he worked to go his own way. We all helped him to get through every single one, until he met his final challenge last week. We were just not able to reach him at the end."

Some of my recollections of Alex's short time with us are captured visually here
More details of some events in Alex's life (my view) are encapsulated here: Alex's Life In A Breath

Here are some pictures of the younger Alex… Alex in the hat Alex, the Rocket Man Alex's smile

 

some memories of our Arizona '98 trip…

Don and family in the desert near Four Corners Alex & Tim at Hermits Rest Ship Rock, one of Alex's connections to the Native American spirit world

And, finally, a recent snap of Alex at White Oak in '98 Alex in '98

As I meandered through the maze of my sadness, searching for thoughts, threads,
answers, anything, I encountered this message about suicide.
It can be pretty tough reading, but find the time. Perhaps twice…

Also spend a minute or two with Tony Salvatore's Memo to Suicidal Young People

 

I may share more things here as time goes by so please come back to visit Alex, as you can?

You are also welcome to visit my family pages… Thanks, Don

Having difficulty accessing the MP3 files? If you're inside the firewall, you may be able to download the files from Don's temporary QP site. Use <Backspace> or your browser's Back function to return here

Here is Alex's funeral information, should you need it:

1st Congregational United Church of Christ, 815 S. Concord Rd, Oconomowoc
Click here for Directions to the church or Telephone (262) 567-4461
Funeral arrangements by Schmidt and Bartelt, (262) 567-4459

In lieu of flowers, please send memorials to any drug rehabilitation group,
the Suicide Hotline support group Suicide Support
or to the American Brain Tumor Association ABTA